The Female Capitalist
  • Recent Posts
  • About Me
  • Work With Me

Recent Posts

Cracking the Confidence Code

11/17/2015

0 Comments

 
Picture
Written for Citrix, GoToWebinar, November 2015

Have you ever felt that your confidence was holding you back from getting that bigger role, promotion or higher pay? And have you ever wondered how others manage to look confident, even in the most challenging and stressful situations? How do they do it? (It's it really annoying, isn't it?)

The link between confidence and career progression is widely documented. So why is confidence so important. In a business environment that's in a constant state of flux, being confident to take on something new is crucial, no matter what your profession, industry or sector. The good news is confidence is NOT something you're born with despite others giving the impression that it's a natural gift - this is simply not true! This fact alone has enormous positive implications for your career or business prospects.

So what's standing in the way of YOU and having the confidence to be all you can be and reach your true potential - it's the F word  - FEAR! Fear is not the enemy, but rather a natural human emotion.  The real enemy is lack of courage. Confidence therefore is about having the courage to do new things and step into the unknown. The world number one tennis player, Novak Djokovic, illustrates this point beautifully when talking about how he gets through those 'clutch moments' (which all of us have in our business & personal lives!): *"The first thing is to make sure you are in the moment. That's much easier to say than to do. You have to exclude all distractions and focus only on what you are about to do. In order to get to that state of concentration, you need to have a lot of experience and a lot of mental strength. You are not born with that. It is something you have to build by yourself".

Now for the HOW to crack the confidence code, moving from a position of fear, to building courage and finally to taking that scary action. Here are my top tips:

1. Get over the fear by knowing your higher purpose - You have to think about what you will achieve - the end goal or outcome - by getting over that fear and taking action.  Now with 30+ years experience in business, I make sure my voice is heard so that I could have a positive impact on others, including clients. My younger self, however, was very shy and timid but then I realised (with the great advice of someone who I now see was a mentor!) that I've got to speak up if I want to make a difference, influence others and 'have a seat at the table'. Being held back by our fear prevents us from being all that we can be.

2. Tap into your courage memory bank -   I think this is what Djokovic was referring to when he mentions having experience. Think back on those times when you were in perhaps an adverse situation and you had the courage to take the difficult action.  If you've done it once you can do it again!  Visualising those past moments of overcoming tough times slows your heart rate and can focus the mind on the new task at hand!

3. Give yourself regular pep talks -  What key words work for you?  For me it's simply "I CAN do this".  Combining that with a repetitive activity you enjoy is even more powerful. I love running so if I'm about to face a stressful situation that requires courage I go running (with positive music streaming through my headphones) and repeat that mantra "I CAN do this!". Figure out what routine works for you - we're all different. The speaker, writer and behavioural expert Marissa Peer suggests looking in the mirror every morning and saying "I am enough".  Sometimes we are so hard on ourselves - this is a good reminder that we are in fact enough. Be careful how you speak to yourself - YOU are listening.

By cracking the confidence you are taking back control of your personal and professional life. You are no longer letting the circumstances dictate the future. YOU are deciding how you're going to react and how you're going to behave. And if things don't quite turn out as you hoped, then what? Try again... you've had a good practice run -   it's sure to go better the next time. And just think you had the courage to do something, rather than make excuses why you "can't" do something. That in itself is something to store in your memory bank!

*Source: Lunch with the FT, Peter Aspden, 15 October 2015
. 

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Balancing Career & Family
    Career Advice
    City Stars
    Corporate Social Responsibility
    Fatherhood
    Gender Diversity
    Guilt Trip
    Modern Marriage
    News
    Parenting
    Share Your Story
    Women Leaders
    Women On Boards
    Working Mothers

    Archives

    November 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    March 2021
    January 2021
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    June 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    May 2019
    March 2019
    November 2018
    October 2018
    March 2018
    September 2016
    March 2016
    November 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    December 2014
    October 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013
    January 2013
    August 2012
    July 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    December 2011
    October 2011
    July 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    January 2011
    November 2010
    October 2010
    September 2010
    August 2010
    July 2010
    June 2010
    May 2010
    April 2010

    RSS Feed

Privacy policy

The Female Capitalist ® 
is a registered trademark. All Rights Reserved.
Web Design by Matt Quinn